Overview
On your student's 13th birthday, gather adults they admire and respect (people they suggest) to write personal letters. These letters should focus on what it means to be a man or woman of Christ, share stories of their own experiences at 13, and offer prayers for your student's future. Then, invite those adults over for a special dinner where they read their letters aloud.
This moment is more than just a celebration—it’s a chance to redefine your role as a parent. You’re moving from being just a caretaker to becoming a coach in your student's life. To reinforce this shift, we encourage you to schedule regular one-on-one time with your student, keeping communication open so they know they can talk to you about anything.
6th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
Every day, and almost every hour their likes and dislikes will change. One of the most consistent things in this phase is… inconsistency.
They’ll ask: “Who do I like, and who likes me?”
Expectations:
- You get to recruit leaders and other adults (P.O.P) who will invest in your student amidst all the change they are experiencing.
- Your kid will flip-flop every day, maybe even every hour, between “your baby” and an independent adolescent. Your grocery bill will grow, the drama will grow, your baby will grow.
- All throughout the inconsistency, you get to prove to them that you are a steady presence in their lives.
- Every one of your students has a phone, so why can’t your student have a phone yet?!
- Your student is most likely going to experience some form of peer pressure in this phase, whether to keep the social norm, or explicit peer pressure.
- As your student enters 6th grade they may experience early onset of puberty – all of a sudden, deodorant is a subject of arguments.
- While your student is flexing their independent muscles, routine and clear structure is going to help them.
Leaders:
- Ian & Katie Hawkins
Resources:
- Raising a Thinking Preteen by Myrna B. Shure, PhD.
- The Space Between: A Parent’s Guide to Teenage Development by Walt Mueller
7th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
You have a teenager in your home! Confidence and insecurity are battling inside your 7th grader constantly.
They’ll ask: “Who am I?”
Expectations:
- Seventh graders are smart, really smart, and they want you to know how smart they are. One minute they’re the smartest person in the world, and the next moment the world is collapsing because they weren’t involved in the group Halloween costume.
- As your student begins to discover their strengths and weaknesses, you get to repeatedly point them to the Gospel, and their never-changing identity in Jesus.
- This is the phase where everything you do, and say is lame and embarrassing.
- Friend groups become more established, and in return, more exclusive.
- Your student may show more interest in romantic relationships.
- Your student may experience increased demand for academic expectations, so helping them manage time and social activities will be key in this phase.
- Heightened awareness of physical development – your student may begin to notice their classmate they towered over last year is taller than them, and may feel advanced or behind physically.
- As students continue to grow and mature, you may experience more defiance and a desire for privacy as they attempt to establish their independence.
- Some studies show us that this year is when students tend to lie the most – with social expectations, an increase in academic responsibility, and testing boundaries of independence, your student may tend to lie more in this phase than any other you get to walk with them through.
Leaders:
- Adam & Sandra Hall
Resources:
- The Grown Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans by Josh Shipp
- Pass It On: Building a Legacy of Faith for Your Children through Practical and Intentional Discipleship by Jim Burns & Jeremy Lee
8th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
Your student is exploring what it means to shift from dependence on you to independence, those issues that were once black and white from their perspective are now grey as they are preparing to enter high school.
They’ll ask: “Who am I?”
Expectations:
- The best friends they had in 6th grade may be different than their best friends they end the school year with.
- You may hear your student say “I’m not good at this.”
- Your student has a stronger sense of identity now than when they did in 6th grade.
- With social media present, your student may begin to navigate online relationships as they are navigating “real-world” relationships. They aren’t “wasting their time” on their phone – they’re connecting with friends online!
- Your student may have a heightened awareness of physical appearance now.
- Your student may experience anxiety or nervousness about the impending future of high school
- They may spend more time on their physical appearance than ever in this stage!
- Increased focus on long-term goals – this may be a good time to talk about responsibilities at home to help establish work ethic and ability to manage time and think about the future.
Leaders:
- Stuart & Jennifer Wilson
Resources:
- The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey
- Parenting Generation Screen: Guiding Your Kids to Be Wise in a Digital World by Jonathan McKee