Overview
Your listening ear will be one of the most valuable gifts you can offer. Encourage open, honest conversations, even if they wrestle with or question the beliefs you’ve instilled in them. Maintain a strong, healthy relationship that includes regular, open dialogue. Let your home and heart be a safe place for them to return to for advice, reassurance, and guidance.
Consider writing your student a letter of blessing—a heartfelt reflection on all the joy, growth, and hopes you've held over the past 18 years. Share it at the Senior Banquet or in a private moment together. Express your gratitude for the journey you’ve shared, speak openly about the fears and excitements that come with releasing them into the world, and let them know what you are praying over their future. This letter will not only encourage them now but can serve as a treasured reminder of your support as they move forward.
9th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
Whether towards college admissions, being eligible for athletics, or just privileges at home, grades begin to hold more weight than ever in your student’s life.
They’ll ask: “Where do I belong?”
Expectations:
- With so many extracurricular activities being offered, your freshman will lean into the groups they feel most accepted.
- Engage in conversations, not lectures.
- Ask questions and don’t approach conversations with the answers – After all Jesus asked more questions than he answered.
- School season will feel busy, if it hasn’t already.
- Talk about what Jesus calls fruit, and what the world tries to deceive us as fruit. Have consistent conversations about where they see fruit in their lives, and their friends’ lives.
- As your student begins to develop their critical thinking and moral reasoning skills, they may ask questions about family values, or question rules or beliefs you share. It’s important to engage in conversations not lectures when these questions come up.
- Being in High School is going to bring planning for the future and goal setting. Your student may need help setting realistic goals, and planning how to meet those goals.
- Most 9th graders need 8-10 hours of sleep because they are growing! You and your student may find it hard to balance their need for sleep and demands of their schedules.
- Being around older students may increase the likelihood of being exposed to things like nicotine, alcohol, and drug-usage. It’s important to keep open dialogue about these things, and what God’s word says about engaging in these activities.
Resources:
- Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Charles Fay & Foster Cline
- Between Us Girls: Walks and Talks for Moms and Daughters by Trish Donohue
- Between Us Guys: Life-Changing Conversations for Dads and Sons by Joel Fitzpatrick
10th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
The year of licenses. Whether they get theirs, or a friend has their license, freedom has a whole new meaning for a 10th grader.
They’ll ask: “Why should I believe?”
Expectations:
- With this new freedom your 10th grader is experiencing, new life experience is also growing. All the things they theorized are now being experienced. Which means the boundaries and rules they had no problem following last year, they question now. “why is my curfew 9p when Jeff’s is 10p?” With these challenges, patience and questions will go a long way.
- With freedom, its important to talk about Jesus’ Lordship on your life and what it means for your student. Have consistent conversations about the things you need to give to Jesus, and ask what they need to give over to Jesus.
- Talk about what living on Mission looks like at school, or on their clubs/sports teams.
- Your student might seek more adult-like independence – financial freedom with the exploration of a part-time job, having more input when it comes to setting curfews, or traveling long-distance with friends.
- The end of this year is their halfway point in high school, its important to discuss college or future careers.
- Your student may be showing an interest in leadership on their clubs or teams, or in church.
- With an increase in responsibility and demands, your student is becoming familiar with stress, have conversations about developing healthy coping mechanisms, and what unhealthy coping mechanisms are.
- Talk about Emotional Resiliency and how to handle disappointments.
Leaders:
- Chris & Stacie Compton
Resources:
- Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings by Kenneth R. Ginsburg
- Raising Resilient Kids: 8 Principles for Bringing Up Healthy, Happy, Successful Children Who Can Overcome Obstacles and Thrive Despite Adversity by Kathy Koch
11th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
It may be hard to keep up with everything that’s going on with your junior between AP courses, leadership clubs, and ACT prep. This is a phase of intense academic focus, more mature social dynamics, and greater self-awareness.
They’ll ask: “How can I matter?”
Expectations:
- Junior year is all about accomplishments, which means the pressure your student is facing is probably as high as its ever been.
- Testing freedom’s and trust will be a reoccurring conversation this year.
- Talk about what it means to live on mission as a believer
- Talk about what it means to be a good friend, and how to define meaningful friendships
- Talk about Financial Literacy and how to save money.
- Tour colleges with your student, and have fun doing it! 🙂
- Your student is stretching and their freedom’s are growing, it may be hard to keep up with where your student is going, where they’re coming from, and who they’re hanging out with. Use these moments as ways to build your trust with each other.
Leaders:
- Jamie & Kathy Murphy
Resources:
- Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger
- Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns
12th Grade
Podcast:
Development Stage:
You may find this year full of lasts: Last first day of school, last day of school, last high school game/club/test. In all these lasts, your senior will find that they aren’t quite ready to do this thing 100% independent of you. Students face unique challenges as they make decisions for life after graduation, navigate “lasts” in high school, and prepare to enter adulthood.
They’ll ask: “What will I do?”
Expectations:
- Your student may legally be an adult, but they are a long way from being completely independent of your help.
- At Graduation or the senior banquet at TDF, read your letter of blessing over your student.
- Your role will move from a coach to an advisor – offering your advice when approached by your student
- Help your student manage “Senioritis” by finishing the year strong!
- Maybe your student is trying to navigate romantic relationships with future planning, be a listening ear and offer advice about long-distance relationships, or long-term romantic relationships.
- Help your student see who they can mentor and disciple in their schools, not just focusing on themselves.
- Support your students “readiness” for a new phase of life, even if it means moving away from home. Help them work through any fears and anxieties.
Leaders:
- Steve & Katie Greenwood
Resources:
- Before You Go: Following Jesus and Growing in Your Faith After High School by Gerald Fadayomi
- Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp